Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy. A little hapless, somewhat neurotic, sort of a hypochondriac. He's what's known as a Beta Male: the kind of fellow who makes his way through life by being careful and constant — you know, the one who's always there to pick up the pieces when the girl gets dumped by the bigger/taller/stronger Alpha Male.But Charlie's been lucky. He owns a building in the heart of San Francisco, and runs a secondhand store with the help of a couple of loyal, if marginally insane, employees. He's married to a bright ...
The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. 'Cept there's no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby ...
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful, ...
Sam Hunter, a yuppie salesman who has everything he needs except the beautiful Calliope's love, confronts Coyote, the Indian trickster god, and his own forgotten and buried life as Samson Hunts Alone, a native American outlaw.
Zum Br?llen komisch und absolut hinrei?end – eine liebenswerte Kom?die der besonderen Art.Charlie Ashers Welt ist perfekt, bis seine Frau Rachel bei der Geburt ihres ersten Kindes stirbt. ?ber Nacht ist Charlie nicht nur Vater, sondern auch Witwer. Und dar?ber scheint er den Verstand zu verlieren – anders kann er sich das Wesen in Minzgr?n nicht erkl?ren, das ihm immer wieder erscheint. Dann fallen auch noch wildfremde Menschen tot vor ihm um, und es stellt sich heraus, dass Charlie von ganz oben eine neue Aufgabe zugewiesen bekommen hat: Seelen einzufangen und sicher ins Jenseits zu bef?rdern. Ein todsicherer Job, aber trotzdem nichts f?r Charlie …
After reverently lambasting the most cherished rites and credos of virtually every one of the world's major religions in his transcendently hilarious novel the one and only Christopher Moore returns with a wild look at interspecies communication, adventure on the high seas, and an eons-old mystery.Marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn is in love — with the salt air and sun-drenched waters off Maui… and especially with the majestic ocean-dwelling behemoths that have been bleeping and hooting their haunting music for more than twenty million years. But just why do the humpback whales sing? That's the question that has ...
"This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as nontraditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank… If that's the sort of thing you think you might enjoy, then you have happened upon the perfect story!"Verily speaks Christopher Moore, much beloved scrivener and peerless literary jester, who hath writteneth much that is of grand wit and belly-busting mirth, including such laurelled bestsellers of the as , and (no offense). Now he takes on no less than the legendary Bard himself (with ...
A pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation — a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body — Tucker Case's troubles begin one very drunk morning at the Seattle airport Holiday Inn Lounge. Surrendering to the strident will of a call girl who wants desperately to join the Mile High Club, he proceeds to crash his shocking pink jet on the runway — totaling the plane and seriously damaging the organ that got him into this mess in the first place. Now, with his flying license revoked, his job and manhood demolished, facing a possible prison term or, worse, the murderous ...
The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years — except Biff.Ever since the day when he came upon six-year-old Joshua of Nazareth resurrecting lizards in the village square, Levi bar Alphaeus, called "Biff," had the distinction of being the Messiah's best bud. That's why the angel Raziel has resurrected Biff from the dust of Jerusalem and brought him to America to write a new gospel, one that tells the ...
Granted immortality by Catch, a lovable demon, a young man named Travis O'Hearn struggles to rid himself of this man-eating gremlin, who promises to make eternity hellish for him, in a supernatural comic romp through a California tourist town.
Autumn in the sleepy California town of Pine Cove is turned upside down by the arrival of a Mississippi Delta blues musician, a huge sea serpent drawn to the sound of the steel guitar, the explosion of a tanker truck at a gas station, and a mysterious trailer that shows up in the local trailer park.
Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.'Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. It is the hap-hap-happiest time of the year, after all.But not everybody is feeling the joy. Little Joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle. No, he's not on ...
"You bitch, you killed me. You suck!"Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody—the woman of his dreams—is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs ...
